That Weight on Your Heart.
Hey, look. I’m maybe not taking another long break (hopefully) again. I do have things I wanna talk to you all on and maybe, just maybe make you feel a little better. So…. I have a very good feeling a lot of you know what I want to talk on.
That heavy feeling. That sinking pull. That unbearable weight.
It really does suck. One of the worst things a person could feel in my opinion. I say this because I’ve been under that weight for some time now. There are so many reasons a person could go through this: Fear, Rejection, Love, Hate, and on and on. On such days, you just feel like you wanna let the ground swallow you whole and not worry anymore.
“Go on those walks, play some music to drown out the thoughts, observe your surroundings, embrace the world around you.” That’s what I would normally say. You know what I did? Well, I sent a long, long voice message to a friend I hadn’t talked to in a while. And also watched Ted Lasso. Man, that show is so fucking good and hopeful.
But yeah, that message I sent was me being at a pretty low point but I felt good after that. I felt…
Lighter.
So much lighter. Maybe I’ve been spending too much time in my head, seeing people around me change and go on with their lives and I feel left behind, not knowing what’s my next step. You wonder if everything has gone to waste. It hasn’t. Trust me, no matter the hole you’re in, I know that you can get out. Get out and rebuild yourself. You’ll feel better, do better. That feeling of lightness won’t be a fleeting one, gone instantly.
It’ll last.
So, I recently played the expansion to Cyberpunk 2077 called Phantom Liberty. It followed a classic spy thriller storyline with the themes of trust and betrayal prevalent throughout its narrative. Really pulls you in but in the end, when your character is given the decision to place your trust in between two characters who may or may not betray you, it feels hard to do so.
I know, you’re probably thinking that ‘It’s a game, no one cares’ and ‘It’s not real, and on and on but take it as a show or book that you get engrossed in. You start to care about the storyline and the characters and what happens next. I think that connection happens because you project yourself into that character’s shoes. You start to wonder if you yourself were there and begin to question their trust.
What am I talking about? That question of trust. Just another weight that gets added on. You trust one, betray the other and what happens? No one wins, and you’re left to deal with the consequences. Okay, okay that sounds overly dramatic but on some level, it’s true.
There are so many more things I could say that are a weight on your heart but I’ve gone on about depressing lines long enough now. (Mainly cause too many people have said to go a little positive hehe.)
Whether I know you or not, whoever and wherever you are in the world, you’re here. You’re here, reading my writing because maybe I’ve showed it to you to ask for your opinion or you came here on your choice or you find some sort of comfort here. At least I hope so. So, here’s some comfort for you for free:
Dear reader, that weight on your heart? It’s nothing compared to the sheer strength your heart has against it. It’s nothing compared to what your mind is. You’re bloody amazing and you know it. So, do something.
Go throw that weight off. It doesn’t belong there.
Tip it over, push it out of your life, shoot it to hell, whatever you wanna do. All you need is that confidence that has existed within you ever since you were born. That confidence to present the best version of you to the world. Alongside that, a slice of humility. Goes a long way, humility.
I know…. A weird line between something new and old. I don’t know, guess I wanted to try something new. Anyway, like and share the article and you know what? You, my dear reader? Are fucking awesome.
Thanks for reading.
